Woke up this morning and thought – I love my Mum, but I love her more when she comes downstairs at 6.15. It was nearly 7 this morning and an elder statesman like me, I’d been lying awake for ages thinking of weighty matters and – well – to be blunt I was desperate for a crap. When she eventually came down, I somehow didn’t really feel like getting up. You know, the spirit was willing, but I suspected the back legs were having none of it, so I stayed where I was. However, Mum is no respecter of my dignity and she grabbed me by the buttocks (if only that delightful minx Nina would do that) and heaved me upright. Think I must have had a bit too much of the juice last night ‘cos I was wavering a
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